Funny Fart Machine Sounds

Click a button to release a fart!

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Farts are thought to have originated in the time before mass evolution when every life form was a small microbe. Farts were used a boost application to escape predators, which then evolved into a natural repellent. Then, a few young males needing something to occupy their time while hunting later pioneered its evolution just because they found it entertaining, and passed the art down to every generation of boys since by .... tradition. Farting was even a rite of passage for many in the ancient world, a boy might have to prove himself by out-farting the older males of his tribe. Aristotle was the first to insist that "fart logic" is the only logic undeniably true, and indeed: "He who denied it, supplied it." Later, Descartes based his fundamental ontology on the phrase: "I fart, therefore I am."
Along side it's historical use as weaponry at war, Fartium also was an early free form anaesthetic well known to the Continental European Tribes although considered uncivilized by the Greeks and Romans who preferred to just throw the sick to the lions. Then for the longest time it was considered vulgar.
In the 20th century, the fart joke was reestablished as the main medium for experiencing a fart. Gone were the days of seeing it as a noble art. Despite this, direct facial Fartium exposure rose to prominent as a form of torture, and became known as giving someone a helping of "beef-stew." This would have been seen as barbaric in earlier ages, but in the context of the post-modern period, the etiquette of planting one's butt in the face of another and ripping a fart was literally blown out the window. The feminist movement started as a reaction to this practice, which was normally perpetrated by males onto their little sisters--little brothers, as everyone knows, enjoy being farted on.