Funny Quotes - The Best

Download it for FREE!

Phrases like:

"Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!",

"I don’t want to brag, but I do speak pig Latin; I mean, I’m not fluent, but I'm sure if I ever went there, I could get by.",

"I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.",

"I bought one of those tapes to teach you Spanish in your sleep. During the night, the tape skipped. Now I can only stutter in Spanish.",

"Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap, she’s up.’",

"Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night, day.",

"Silence is golden; duct tape is silver.",

"The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.",

"I’m so broke, I can’t even pay attention."

Like it? Download it right now!